Monday, November 15, 2010


So I've been trying to think of what to write about for the past few days, and I've been drawing a blank every time. Well, actually I haven't been trying to draw anything. If I was then maybe I would have something to post.

See how easy that was? It's a green ninja, perfect for those stealthy jungle outings. Or to infiltrate a gang of rogue ninja turtles.

He would fit right in! Those dirty sewer turtles would never see it coming. Kablam! Stealth shuriken right to the face!
Usually i write about stuff that I think of that either relates to me at that moment or stuff that I remember from my days past. Right now, I'm going to another dimension, and I'm going to write about the future. Now this isn't going to be one of those things from the 60's where they are like "The Year 1990 - Robots learn how to love again." It's going to be something... something that might happen by then. Ok, enough flabbling already. (It's like babbling, but fatter)
2011 - Are you kidding me? That's in like 2 months. Waaaay to close to even make something up, much less plan. Let's try...
2020 - Uh, I think I will still be in the same place, doing the same job, eating the same TV dinner. But for the sake of entertainment... I've just made my second million with my brilliant invention, the Ceiling Stomper. Have you ever been annoyed by the loud bumps and thumps from your neighbors above? Gain sweet revenge with the Ceiling Stomper, a rubber mat on the end of a jackhammer! You've just been stomped! I choose to live modestly, with a mere 3000 square foot hut overlooking the Pacific. I spend my spare time hunting for truffles with my trusty hog Jacques, and reading the complete works of Geoffrey Chaucer. Fast forward a bit to...
2043 - Justin Bieber is now president. Now, we all know that this shouldn't be possible, but the previous president, Usher, annexed Canada, Mexico, and French Guiana (now just "The Guiana") and made it legal for any citizens of The United Places of America to become president. Oh and the State of the Union address is now referred to simply as "Confessions." Ohio State University is now the nation's largest penitentiary. Snooki was deported and now runs the biggest threat to American security: A mass of crazy Amazonian tribal women who have learned how to fight "Jersey Style." I move to the colony on the moon, where I make a killing on crater real estate.
2065 -  I make a billion Bieber bucks by buying the rights to all Rob Thomas music and selling Animatronix Matchbox 20 bands to clubs and coffee shops. It's like those Chucky Cheese's with the curtain and singing animal band, but way less creepy and for adults.
2075 - I'm 90, so I don't really care what's going on, as long as you turn the Matlock reruns up/turn that crap down.

So there is the future, more or less. Let's hope it doesn't turn out that way (except I'll still be rollin' in the cheese, right?).

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