Thursday, December 29, 2011

Curses and Kudos. Not really. Well, maybe one of those.

Ah curse you ingrown toenail! Just about the worst thing that can happen to a toe. Except maybe getting it lopped off. If you couldn't tell, I'm trying to get rid of an ingrown toenail right now and I almost wish I had just let it be. The sucker is more entrenched in there than (insert new relevant dictatorship metaphor now that the go-to Kim Jong Il is off the table).

Anyhow, that is disgusting. Almost as disgusting as the naked Korean hobo I saw outside the Shingil subway station. But we shall save that one for another time.

As I was thinking about what to write, nothing came to mind, as is standard with these things I suppose. So I decided just to write what comes in my head. That would be the band Rush, because I just got their greatest hits and I'm listening to it while I type. So if I randomly throw a "Tom Sawyer" in there just ignore it.

I wrote something a little bit ago about starting my own clothing company, and how I couldn't do it because I could only draw stick figures (read the post if you can't figure this out). Well, I thought that I had worked around it with my new design company, Eurotool. See, I would make clothes for all the tools out there, and it would be funny because the brand is, effectively, "You're a tool." If you don't know what a tool is... you've lived a sheltered life and the world is a better place for you. My store would have the deepest V-neck shirts, the most ambiguous manpris, fedoras with feathers in them, etc*. Basically, it would be Jason Mraz's dream store. And the design would be so simply. All I would have to do is turn the words Eurotool into artsy metal lettering and plaster it over everything. But alas! There is a company already named Eurotool. And get this: It's a company in Europe that makes tools! The nerve! So any lawyers out there, if there is a way to get around this I would give you a free fedora or maybe some manpris* if you could get me that name. Or some extra strength faux hawk hair gel.

*If you wear any of these things... I'm sorry. But being a tool is 50% attitude, so redemption is still a possibility for you.

*As I was at a loss for a word to call a pair of capris for a man, I went with this. I don't know how to spell it or what it's supposed to be called, so let's just leave it at that.


Favorite Diva: Mariah Carey

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