Saturday, June 25, 2011

Digital generation

Editor's note: I wrote this like 10 months ago. If you don't get some of the references... invent a time machine and go back to last winter. Or Google it.

Some people think that reading a person's blog is a good substitute for talking to that person. This is false. The only good substitute for talking to a person is talking to a robot programmed with all the knowledge in the world and has it's auto-correction chip removed, for its own safety. I would also accept talking to a dog with really expressive eyes. In the world we live in, things are becoming increasingly digitized. We get all our information online, from the news to what Susie is wearing to the homecoming dance. We can chat online. We can poke people online. We can even take tours of places online. Pretty soon people are going to be doing their business all over the interwebs. Yeah, that kind of business. Gross! What I've noticed is that people don't know how to interact anymore. Like me. I hate talking on the phone. On the phone, there is some real pressure. When you email or chat online, there is ample time to procure witty responses to any posed question. On the phone, there is no time (unless you are me, and pretend the connection is bad until I think of something good to say). Plus, with the internet, you can quickly research things and pretend to know what the other person is talking about. Here are some examples:

Question: Did you hear that President Obama is instituting a federal pay freeze?
Internet response: Yeah. It's supposed to start next year and last for 2 years. Hopefully it will curtail government spending and reduce the federal deficit! Too bad I'm a judge! TTYL
Phone response: No.

Question: Yo man! Did you see Monday Night Football?! It was awesome!!
Internet response: Yeah bro! Dude, Drew Brees' passer rating of 147.3 was the highest of his career! And Roman Harper's interception in the fourth was sick! It's gonna be a crazy playoff race... LOL!
Phone response: Oh. I watched Gossip Girl instead.

So the internet saves people obvious embarrassment. It also makes people MORE embarrassed. Like when you read something on the internet and you stupidly believe it to be true, and then get in an argument with someone over what you read, naively believing what you read is true. Later you find out that the person you argued with wrote a book on what you were arguing about, and was obviously right. Curses internet! And your flaw of being constructed by people who don't know any solid facts!

This is the stuff I thought about 10 months ago.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha! This was a good one, I liked it. Is it possible you were funnier 10 months ago? J/K!! Love you bro!